Professor Raz's

Angels play ring toss with Halos

2009-07-22T18:48:00.003+08:00

Sometimes when you don't really know what you're gonna do in your own life, well. Then you just don't. There's just so much to do that every minute task transformigate into something so menial. That's how i'm feeling right at this instant. Oh, that and procrastination. One of the best qualities a JC student can have. Right.

Oh and the discovery that Facebook has an underlying intention behind its creation has certainly kept me from logging on more than 5 times a day now. BUT STILL... My suspicions about Twitter was worse than I expected. And I thought Facebook was bad.

SEE. At least i'm just an narcissistic stalker. ONLY that. (That ought to make me feel better but it didn't.) But still. Lesson learnt. Don't go Facebooking too often.

Mother Tongue Listening Comprehension Examination tomorrow. Sykes.

Gotta go find cotton buds. (:

ADHD, much?

Prof.

Reach Through a Swansong

2009-07-19T18:00:00.000+08:00

Whose flesh this is I seem to wonder,
Insanity triggers my conscience.
Your soul is captured by the light
And the dreams of faceless horror.

I shed your lies and let you bleed,
Leaving you scars that remorselessly refuse to heal.
But where has my heart gone you may wonder,
Inside a villain, a rapist, and a ruthless assassin.

The blade is a trigger,
Once pulled or released.
There is no return,
And the life fully diminishes.

My non-virgin hands of the brutal murder,
Soaked in your blood,
Leads me to the vehement fear
As the darkness chooses to fade away.

Your lifeless body lies in my arms of guilt,
And my tears of joy wash your blood away.
You'll wake to see the world on fire,
And the fire releases upon the heavens.

Well, is it?
Prof.

Write this on a Post-It note.

2009-07-19T12:00:00.004+08:00

Okay, I just typed an extremely long negative dreadful whiny post.

And you know what. With a simple right-click, "Select All", a quick push of the "Delete" button, I can get rid of all the miseries I've felt for the past few days.

HA! Who am I kidding? If only problems in life could go away as easily as that. At least I have friends, family, & God to support me, & I'm thankful enough as of now.

But i'd bet i'd get much happier. Potentially. Now to get someone to pay for happiness. Or maybe I should wear a mask.

Either way, no use asking me how my life is right now.
I wouldn't answer.

Cause this is your night,
Prof.

p.s: But really, how's life?

Ignorance is your new best friend

2009-07-18T22:35:00.010+08:00

Oh, Paramore. Welcome back to my playlist.

There're coming out with a new album, by the way: Brand New Eyes. And so far, Ignorance have been on repeat for an hour. Thank God for leaks.

How refreshing it is to hear electric guitars again, after listening to ramblings about Discosticks for 3 months straight. I'm going to go back to blasting Rock in my ears from this day forward. Well, for now anyway.

(NOTE: Get Halo out of head. It's giving me a headache.)

Saturdays, are the very definition of extra time that you're tempted to abuse for self-indulgence. Well, it only proves as much when your PW meeting was an epic fail (for me at least.) Plus, i've learn a valuable lesson today. You freaking need a laptop for PW, no matter how hard you imagine that you don't need one. And speaking of which, EOM is just flew out the window a few hours ago. There must be an underlying fallacy in this whole process we're going through.

What am I saying? It's not even done in the first place. I must have imagined it flying out then. Wretched subject. As much as I wished that college was entirely running on a project-based system, I take it all back. All of it.

Well, and this just sank in. I don't think I can revel in the prospect of a free-and-easy Sunday to roll around bed in. Still have the College Day Video to complete. So far, as much as i have subscribed to the philosophy of living the world through the eyes of a photographer, it seems that I have also inevitably been sucked into the world of videos, and this was years back. Well, not really into, but at the threshold of that realm. Only if videography doesn't require much work as it does now. (And sometimes I wish I wouldn't have discovered this in the first place.)

Hopefully, after the whole 'service-to-the-school' phase is over, really am hoping to craft out a timetable (preferably in poster size) on a mugging schedule. After Danial's rant about how scary it is to be retained was, i'm partially enlightened to entertain this nagging feeling I have to study hard for Promos. That, and the fact that almost everyone now seems to be understanding Economics better than I do - which came hitting when I asked Suuu what Production of Cost meant. If that wasn't a cause to panic, then I don't know what is.

Plus, for some strange reason. I'm beginning to think that the ringing sound in my head wasn't coming from the telephone anymore. Oh man. I think it was the scream Ranice gave me just now.

Exponential,
Prof.

I'm not the same kid from your memory

2009-07-18T21:59:00.005+08:00

"About time you realised how weird you are. I still like you anyway."

It's not nice lying to your diary. But what more can lies do, than to add on to an already fucked up thing I have here.

That half-drunk bottle of breezer on the floor, mascara on my hands and the room seemingly running on parallels. "Numb on the floor," I thought. Words like that weren't meant to be spoken out loud. I wouldn't force myself to exclaim out my listlessness. On the table, there was still the stains she left.

And there I thought she'd clean it up. She didn't by the way. At the corner, the flash was still on. How that gave me a headache. And that aroma of the stale tobacco just forced me to gag out whatever I had left in there. Then leaving me, bloodshot. She came in with red wine, and sat on the armoire facing me.

Chuckling to my death, then. I realised poison was actually the antidote. Damn.
But i'm still lying to my diary though.
Cause this story is not worth the read.

The Question,
Prof.

Vaccines, then let me die.

2009-07-17T00:34:00.000+08:00

First & foremost. Mid-years just bombed itself right in its face. Okay, not there yet though. But i'll better keep my mouth shut before victims of the massacre starts throwing unused foolscap paper at me.

Lousy week. Meh. Just don't ask. I'm having a sudden thirst for Coke. Thanks to Namira.
Who's been talking non-stop about it, even answered my question with Coke. By golly.

Anyway, kind of shagged from today. Just gonna give a quick post.
The REAL post will come soon enough.

Carbonated,
Prof.

Soulmates

2009-07-12T21:04:00.001+08:00

That Saturday evening, everything caught on. I held your hand and we blanketed ourselves under the fireworks by the pier. And how opulant the rose petals were when it's scattered along the trail that we walked on.

And when the bright nights illuminated further by flames that were going on and off, you held my hand.

We never met the first time, I never saw you the second time, while the third did not even send me a text message. Which reminded me.

I need to thank God for Saturdays.
And I still owe the big guy another prayer.

Grunt,
Prof.

Post-Traumas & Half-Psychos

2009-07-12T19:16:00.005+08:00

Got this wheelbarrow full of work to do.
But not touching them yet.
Been trying to get some bits and pieces of the College Day video done. No success though. I'm running out of ideas.

Two Mondays next week on the timetable.
Plus an extra few hours on Friday.

At times like this I wish I had some Coke.
Or maybe Pepsi.
But I got a sneezing fit instead.

p.s: Yes Suu, go cut your hair. I approve. Hahaha.

Viral,
Prof.

Get my mouth taped.

2009-07-10T22:25:00.014+08:00

Okay, hold on.

So, who's hating who here now? If i'm not wrong, you brought up this conversation, didn't you?

And here you accuse me of promoting hate. Sir, really. I really don't want to start a fight here, and I really have nothing against you. Seriously. So please, stop. I beg of you. I can't bring myself to talk about you anymore. And of all people, you should know about sharp tongues are right. You said it best.

I'm not angry at you, really i'm not but the crowd's getting restless.

And fine, i'll let you win. Apologies, on behalf of the Arts students, if you may, for whatever actions that we've been bombarding you with that may have caused irritance. Or if it's me you're after, yes. The apologies go there too. If you still want to doubt my nobility (and even if I have any, according to you) then I can't stop you. I didn't say I was noble to begin with.

But, in my (and our) defence, you can't hinder one's way of self-expression. We're just like that. We're loud, fine. Again, apology. And so what if we talk about Lit. It's a subject we chose to take. So, would you stop us from discussing about that too? And yes fine, if it makes you happy, i'm indeed influenced, sorry if i've flaunted whatever it is that you're not happy with in your face. But, it doesnt hurt to be proud of yourself once in a while. I have my rights.

Indeed, you're 16-17 years old. I'd still say words hurt, still. To me, at least. Since your identity is still under wraps, i'd say, i've never insulted you. What have we/I done to you? We're mature enough to be civil and gracious aren't we?

p.s: Yes, for two consecutive posts, it's for you. Mock me if you may, but i've gave up. We shall be quiet now. And if you still doubt the level of sincerity here, then I really do hope you'd live with this. Cause honestly, there was no hatred towards you in the first place, neither are we gonna reveal any to you in the future.

p.p.s: Oh, and by the way, half of those who replied to your earlier outbursts are Science students. And that includes that 'Danial' guy.

Surrender,
Prof.

The Expression

2009-07-08T16:56:00.001+08:00

I realized something. It's not a matter of pride or pompousness for that matter. It doesn't matter what was said. All I have to do is thank friends who stood by so closely in my defense. So thank you so much you guys. Indeed, I have irreplacable friends and the best people one can ever have. Honestly.

Anyway, that stale issue that you brought up, Mr Anonymous, was just unnecessary. Now, I'm not flaming you back. Honestly, i've not caused you any harm. Heck, I've not even met you. So I have no right to retaliate. But remember this: what was said was entirely assumed. Who said it was based on anything? Who said it was a copy? Art is subjective and anyone with a conscious mind can tell me that what you saw may not replicate what you think you saw. In all honesty, I appreciate what you said, I really do. But be gracious enough to not make this a personal affair. Really, you assumed I put you down. There was no solid manuscript of what I said that has the word 'hate' in there or anything derogatory for that matter.

The best part is, this matter does not need to be opinionated on, cause it doesn't concern you, oh anonymous.

Seriously. Mindgames don't work anymore. And everyone is sick and tired of it.

Exasperation,
Prof.

Backfire on Me, Baby

2009-07-07T10:09:00.004+08:00

Wait wait, before I start. Syaf, if you're reading this... I told you I'm gonna go double letter on you! Don't blame me for not warning you. :)

But the good thing is, I got the whole day to upload three days worth of pictures on FB. And of course, rush my Econs papers.

Oh well, back to lounging my unofficial holiday extention away. Meh.

p.s: GUYS! Beach pics are up! Come & get em'!

Spit it out,
Prof.

Cause Everywhere I Go

2009-07-06T22:57:00.000+08:00

Okay, Middys over and I'm officially revoking my Hiatus status. :) So, uhhuh. I'm back to Monkeyboxing.

Meh. Middys pretty much sucked considering I didn't study for both the Econs and Maths papers AT ALL. So I'm not giving a second thought about it anymore.

Anyway, I heard that the Geog papers weren't so well done. Those taking Chem, Good news. Chem was a massacre. And Maths... Was erm... U-nique. :) Get it? Man. Thus, this sucks.

Sitting in Subway, accompanying HQ with her late dinner. Before this was Sentosa-frolicking. Man, if it wasn't for the rain. I'd have gotten more pictures taken. Oh well.

Pictures will be uploaded on Facebook as usual. Meh, and I'll need to get used to blogging again. It's a start.

And you know what, I think I'm developing something.
A fever perhaps? :)

Out of my head,
Prof.

EH WAIT.

2009-06-27T03:09:00.001+08:00

I'm too lazy to blog. Until after Middys. So, yeah.

HIATUS.

Proudly brought to you by Lady Gaga.
(What else can you expect right?)

I still can't read her Poker Face.

2009-06-13T23:11:00.003+08:00

I literally jumped on my bed when I saw this.

Lady Gaga fans got mighty vocal when they learned that her June showcase in Singapore was an invite-only event (Read more on it here). Today, LAMC Productions announced that Lady Gaga will be back in Singapore this August for a full-fledged concert. More details to come.

OMG. MUST SAVE UP. MUST SAVE UP. MUST SAVE UP. Sigh.
Okay, i'm relaxed now.

The Fame,
Prof.

I'm the Part-Time Paparazzi

2009-06-12T17:19:00.004+08:00

Picture of the day.
Just roll your eyes if you want to.

This picture was chosen as picture of the day. Why?

Yes. Well, Asyraf. Be original babe.

Serpent,
Prof.

Such a Beautiful Mess

2009-06-09T01:29:00.005+08:00

Okay Ern. I'm employing your blogging style for this once only. I'm lazy and it's like, 1.32 am.

1. Electra by Suzuki Tadashi

Omg. Crazy show. Top notch movements. Plus, the constipation sounds in the beginning was a bonus. OH. And best part: Mumbling Japanese lines amounting to Two English words. Classic

2. Vaunt IV: The Empress is Here

See how cramped it is. Tsk.

At St. James Power Station. The most packed club ever. Yeah, underage party. Doesn't give half of the mat population to squeeze themselves into a place as small as a sardine can and grind their crotches over everyone else's faces. But, FUN. Considering the people we went with. Party animals. Pfft.

3. Condolences to those Facebooks accounts who've been disabled.

Seriously. To Xiaoqi: So sorry for your account. See lah. Abuse the Facebook feature some more. Now you're Facebook-less. Worse than being One-titless. EH, you still can talk over MSN urh you. You're like speaking from beyond the Facebook grave. HAHA.

Stop being a drama queen over a disabled account lah. EVIDENCE:

BANNED?! RAHHHHHHHHHHHH
I'm gonna make a big fuss and complain to Aman tomorrow... LOL
Now i know how he feels...
LIKE MY WHOLE LIFE JUST FLASHED BEFORE MY EYES KIND OF THING
HAHAHA WAH LAO.I SOUND AS IF IM GONNA DIE
OHMYGAWD.DRAMA MUCH. LOL!

I rest my case.

p.s: Dan, don't get grave dirt over my account.

The Facebook Massacre,
Prof.

Patience is A Virtue

2009-06-05T23:37:00.006+08:00

OKAY. I take back what I said about missing the NE shizz and all that crap,
Pre-University Seminar rocks! Like it's the coolest geek camp ever.

Five days of pure fun, baby. Cause geek camps never did get so bitchy before this. :D I bet Prince George's was irritated as hell at all the noise. Speaking of which, this was our not-so-humble abode for the five days.

Prince George's Residences: The most OMG place you can ever stay in.

Alphonsus was scared for like 4 of the five days. So we bunked in for the rest of the nights. Along with Chester, who worried over his hair ot being spiky for the whole of the 5 days stay. Tsktsk. And he blamed Dove for the straight lucious hair. Who wouldn't?

And the best Seminar Group ever. Group 2! OMG. Craziest bunch of geeks ever.
MISS YOU GUYS!

Team MJ. Let's see. Besides the fact that almost all of us were lepaking till late night/early morning and refusing to wake up in the morning for breakfast, we did nothing else. Oh by the way, Chester is addicted with lepaking now. (Cues Mat accent.)

Sigh, oh damn. I'm liking myself as a geek. GAH.

Thick-rimmed Specs,
Prof.

A Little Bit of That

2009-05-31T12:37:00.002+08:00

OH FREAKING SHIT.

GP MYE paper tomorrow. Have not done anything. And I really need to read up for GP, Pronto.
Pre-U Seminar tomorrow. I really need to start cracking on packing. I need a packing List. I lost it. Where's my bag? GAH.
GPP. Now that's just dead.

June Holidays have officially started. Even that is subjective. Tell that to the rest of the cohort who's gonna endure a weeks worth of lectoras and assignments, yet again. And we'll be missing it. Dunno if it's a good thing or a bad thing. (CONNIE! HELP US TAKE OUR NOTES FOR US!) Actual MYEs starting at about 4 weeks time and obviously, i've not even touched anything yet. Half a year to go to the end of year one (and to praying that the R word will not be served to us on a platter)

This is getting awfully depressing.

Oh, and we'renotabletogofortheNElearningjourneycauseoffreakingpre-usem.
DAMN, yet again. Sacrificing fun for fun.

Something tells me i'm gonna be worrying myself to death for the holidays.

p.s: CONGRATS to MJ Photography for winning Montage's school challenge, yet again. (:

FISH,
Prof.

A Little Bit of This

2009-05-30T11:59:00.001+08:00

You know everything's going to go wrong when Gary's busts starts to grow.

That's the kind of thing we've been subjecting ourselves to for the past week basically. Trust the college to come up with such enriching activities for people like us to take advantage of.

And Fine. I've not been updating. The bugging sort of helped though. Plus, I regretted not blogging for the past week (blame the busy week) cause I realised I will be on Hiatus for the next week cause of Pre-U Sem. Dang.

I don't think there's a need to summarise whatever has been happening for the entire week right? Everyone else has. And since i'm don't advocate posting pictures on the blog, go on Facebook. And if you don't have one, go get one cause trust me, unless you have one, Facebook is too cool for you. (This includes you Mard.)

Congrats to everyone who've worked hard for Colosseum though. I wouldn't have able to get good pictures without you guys doing all that shizz you guys have been preparing for the past month plus. Everyone's happy - especially those who'll get promoted to the gallery next year. (Right Atlas?)

Oh well. Here's Top 3 for this week:

COLOSSEUM!: Phobo's Cheerleading Routine & Matt's Cheer Leading Routine. :D
VISAGE: Suuu's super-dainty makeover - a Purple top and a Skirt.
DAVID QUEK'S: Happy Birthday Ranice Tan Pan Ying!

Okay, if this is not a rebound post, I don't know what is.

Cheered-out,
Prof.

How I used to Hold your Hand

2009-05-23T11:57:00.006+08:00

"Vines encrouched onto the face that he sees tender, and asphyxiates her stealthily"

He makes his way through the dim room, sliding his white black soles on the parquet while awaiting Marie Antoinette to greet him. Of elegance and grace, she makes her pace. But he then realises that this is all lunacy, driven by a fetish for fantasy.

What am I doing in school on a Saturday morning. My GP and GPP is non-existant. Deadline's yesterday. I should panic right? I should start soon(ish.)

Learning Journey was redundant. If you've gone on one, you've gone to them all. Plus, it made me sluggish the whole night. So sleep deprivation kills the ability to do a decent piece of homework.

TJC Prelude's this evening, still deciding on wardrobe.

p.s: When is school ending?

Gap,
Prof.

Or else forget about it.

2009-05-21T23:31:00.009+08:00

"I hung on red thread, maneuvered - to sleuth through a Russian Pantomime."

Even the sharpest pair of blades can't cut through the thick nylon. I'm defying gravity, with thread pierced through skin, so swollen. And cold blood just spews out of unclosed pores. I end up dancing like a fish out of water, at the background.

Okay, let me amusingly clear this up. It was 1.00 in the morning when I realised I called Emily Bronte sexy. Bite me. I do not have an illicit affair with a dead author. If it wasn't for her, we'd be doing Lauren Weisberger's - The Devil Wears Prada. On the other hand, it wouldn't seem that bad though, to be analysing Jimmy Choos.

A word to the wise: NEVER stare at a shuttlecock for 15 minutes straight. Period. And never sit through a badminton game for an hour straight - compliments to the PE department for chunking Atlas in the unimaginably boring Badminton 3rd/4th placings in Jurong. But we won, at least. Unsurprisingly.

Okay, busy week ahead. Starting tomorrow with Learning Journeys, TJC Prelude, Visage, MJ-VJ Soccer finals, Colosseum. By George, the holidays are coming and this is what we're piled under. Pathetic.

Oh, and to those who've not heard: Stunts are banned from Cheerleading routines, this year. And as Dan said, it'll now be MJC's Inter-House Dance Competition. Figures. How tame it'll be, and we're not even talking about a shrew here. Geez.

Gah. And guess what. Undone homework. Plan failed. Goodbye. Reminding myself didn't stop me from procrastinating.

p.s: EXHIBITION MATCH LATER. Her Royal Majesty, Queen Asyraf playing.

p.p.s: Is it too late to cry over Katherine McPhee's losing American Idol?

Heave-cliff,
Prof.

High Definition

2009-05-20T21:10:00.008+08:00

"Sometimes, being the hero turns you into the villain instead."

Wonder how sometimes one feels like he has been floating in a stream of gentle ironies, but when he finally dock onto that ridiculously large boulder by the side of the stream, not a single irony drenched him.

To Ern: EH, Emily wrote one pathetic book okay. Cut her some slack. Too bad she had to write pop trash-romance of her time.

Fiddlesticks. If only finishing homework is as easy as dragging stuff into the Recycle Bin. I might as well had drag the homework in there. At least tomorrow we're supporting the (boring) girls badminton match. So we're missing out on two periods of Bedah, the Malay Dancer. What a blessing.

Oh, and I bumped my head on the toilet door. So now i'm trying to see if the concentricity of my brain is still proportionate. Or i'd have to ask Asyraf to hit tennis balls on my head on Friday. So I shall try to remind myself to do assigned homework for the rest of the week.

(Don't read this part right here. It's an attempt to remind myself to complete the GP and Literature essays due on Friday. Do it. Do it.)

And you know what? I realised that the school is hoarding cash. Our cash. They're charging us thirty eight bucks for usage of the IVLE, which by the way I only log on to every fortnight. 38 Bucks for fortnightly visits to softcore educational porn. No thank you. Cause the only reason they call it softcore is that it doesn't get you hard - Not like Binomial Distribution.

Oh, and Mr Low. If you happen to perchance here and read this: Asyraf was holding a fashion class before the Literature Lecture just now. (:

Point proven.

p.s: Damn you Atlas cheerleading t-shirt.

B & J Vouchers,
Prof.

When life runs out of lemons to give you.

2009-05-20T01:00:00.009+08:00

"Was blonde ever a colour?"

Omg. You know what. I think Bronte is a sexy surname.
I wonder if Emily looks half as decent as she sounds.
No wait. Did I just call Bronte sexy? Oh eew.

It's 1.01 am on a cold Wednesday morning.
And I have shoes to paint, shirts to design and bread on my table.

Life doesn't bite. But if it does, I wonder where it'll bite.

p.s: Monday short day. HEH.
p.p.s: Asyraf is actually good at tennis. He needs a camera while he's playing though.

Into the Valley of Death,
Prof.

Are you coming for me at all?

2009-05-19T00:46:00.004+08:00

"Behind embroideries, covets glitter in sheer resplendence and complexity."

Along with monotony, I brought home eyebags. Looking with dog-eyed stares out into the vivid sienna that lines the table. I swear I can just sleep over the pieces of tutorials on the table.

Nothing but white, maybe a few browns that's neither here nor there. The grains etching out right onto the floor. No wait, it stops there. I missed the other side of the table. A few papercuts here and there. One on the finger. One on the lips. I just pressed the blood over the sheet and slept on it.

Sigh, seventeen more chapters. Sixteen or so actually. But who's counting. It's an hour after midnight and what am I still doing here still awake. Sigh, sleep deprivation. Figures. Can't hate em. Guess I have to live with it then.

The best part of the night: Songs of incomprehensible language is screaming into my ears.

Now, I really do think that i'm having an Emergency.

Crooked,
Prof.

It's all just theatre.

2009-05-18T21:42:00.002+08:00

"Kiss me if you love me. Oh, wait. Don't."

Another week begins. Shouldn't have made fun of the Chem-Maths part of the cohort taking their test today. Cause now, God piled me under seventeen pages of Wuthering Heights to read. Thanks. I really need divine intervention right about now.

Been feeling sluggishly sleepy. Slept through MT Listening Comprehension. And drooled like everywhere else in school. Finally woke up at the VJ-AC Soccer match when I heard the Victorians slur their anthem out.

Maybe I need to drag a bed along with me to school. Probably need a Queen size bed for Asyraf to lie on at occasional instances. Or maybe a tatami mat. Just something to lie on before Maths bite me or before Mr Twisties gives his impression of a jelly during Lit tutorials or when Bread mispronounces his 'S-words' and/or starts asking Connie random questions (which does not lead to 'keropok' as an answer) all of a sudden. Sometimes I tend to shut out stupidity.

Oh by golly gee, still much more things to do before the Holidays starts. Officially. Which is like on the 7th. Have to go shop for some braces at Topman and a shirt or two for Visage. Or maybe at the Mooks closed door event, which by the way I have four more vacancies for. Meh.

Sigh, I wanted to be deep today but I can't. Just can't. I have to let Wuthering Heights out of my system first.

Oh Okay, remind me to be bitchy at VJC tomorrow.

p.s: I just saw a cockroach on the floor.

My Eruption,
Prof.

Much Ado About Nothing

2009-05-14T23:54:00.003+08:00

FINISHED VISAGE PROGRAMME CARD DESIGN.

It's a two-minute kind of thing, and it's a lucky thing the Visage programme card is about 4 pages long. I'll just die if it were to stretch to 12 pages, again.

Okay, i'm tired. Just came back from Fort Canning, after Much Ado About Nothing. Awesome stuff by the way. 2nd Shakespearean play of the year. More! Only messed up part was when the cast started infusing Peranakan in the damn thing & it became a whole ball of a mess. Peranakans should never be made to do Shakespeare. Period.

But snacking was murderous just now. Must have eaten a gazillion calories during the play. Shall try to work it off tomorrow. :D

And MATHS NORMAL/BINOMIAL DISTRIBUTION TEST TOMORROW. Heck. Too tired to study. Can't be helped. It's fate that we'll fail every Maths test thrown at our faces.

"Knock, knock. I STILL DON'T WANT TO BUY ANYTHING."

P.S: I need to go out bar-hopping again. ):

Love once, and Never Again,
Prof.

Nobody, Nobody But YOU.

2009-05-12T23:14:00.003+08:00

I finally realise what a wonderful thing YouTube is. God, should have gone for the VJ Musicfest! Seemed like fun. (: And found the Music Videos they featured in Youtube. And Boy, how gay it is.
All I can say is, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

OH DAMN. What the hell.
Maybe we should do this one day. :D

But you?
Prof.

Of Cosmopolitans & Photo Booths

2009-05-11T22:57:00.007+08:00

"Inebriation is my best friend."

Okay, updates a plenty and my homework is as barren as ever. Anyway, there we are, drunk (well, the two of them at least) after the Bar@Changi yesterday. Thanks to Hui Qi who called us up to randomly go to the airport to relieve boredom. So eventually, we ended up at the Crowne Plaza at T3, having a Cosmo and White Wine. I didn't have a drink though. Of course I don't. I'd rather have sanity, thank you very much.

Reached home at three in the morning and was dead tired the next day. Groan.

And today. Just came back from the Lagoon at East Coast, for that huge seafood dinner with Dan, Christel, Serinder, XQ, Asyraf, Kim & Ranice. Apparently, both Ranice and I feels 3 months pregnant now. Bleh. Whatever. DETOX STARTS TOMORROW! Yes? Yes?

Bah, oh. Had an experimental studio shoot today with Exco 09/10. (: Cool shots came out. Hurhur.

And that's how I spent the weekends. Noticed that I didn't mention homework. CAUSE IT'S NOT TOUCHED. Grrr. Okay, off to HW land.

Shoot,
Prof.

I Watched My WIldest Dreams Come True.

2009-05-10T16:40:00.004+08:00

"What is the sound of one hand clapping?"

That phrase just gave me enough enlightenment for the whole week. And I need some bloody enlightenment right about now.

Let see. Through-The-Lens is finally out of our hands, the J1's part anyway. Not a half bad job if I do say so myself. Hung the films over at the spiral staircase on Friday, ready for public viewing on Tuesday.

Bah, yesterday. Post-PI-Syndrome whacked me right in the head on Friday and made me slumber my way through 8.30 am. So was late for that forum thingy that Syaf, Siddiq, Dan, Fai and I had to go to. But the thing was bloody dead, to the point I had to drool on the table to make me realise I had slept through the thing. But if it's any consolation, the food was nice. Kept grabbing the Mushroom pies all through the break.

Then, went for the customary Saturday Dinner Date with Christel Quek yesterday, before heading off to Jaben's to get some earpads & amplifiers for the newly-born audiophile. Which made me realise, I need at least a 100 bucks for the next month for a new Crumpler.

Sundays. Bah.

Philosophy,
Prof.

It's time to Step it up a Notch.

2009-05-08T09:26:00.004+08:00

I SWEAR.
I HATE PRELIMINARY IDEA(S).
YEAH ABOUT TIME.
BUT I FINALLY
FINISHED THE DAMNED THING.
GAHH.

Preliminary Murder,
Prof.

If Sorry isn't Enough.

2009-05-06T21:18:00.005+08:00

"Only in Monochrome can despair be portrayed elegantly."

First & foremost, I'd like to congratulate the Meridian Symphonic Band for getting a GOLD in this year's SYF Judging Competition. Three Hips and a Hurray! Through you guys, I live my musical fantasies. Hurhur.

Secondly, Nizam and Suuu are on the IJC website. LOL :D All thanks to the video that the NMA team has submitted for Pre-University Seminar. Really crossing fingers for it to make it to Top 10. Gah.

Thirdly, My thighs are hurting cause of bloody NAPFA yesterday. I'm officially allergic to exercise.

Forthly, (okay this is a bit geeky) Adobe Aftereffects & Apple's Motion3 are giving me an orgasm. Like. Seriously. *shudder*

Lastly, PI DEADLINE IS FRIDAY AND I AM SUPER FREAKING OUT.

p.s: I was sent home today because I was rubbing my nose with a tissue. No, I didn't have the flu, neither did I have fever. A PIMPLE BURST. And with that, I was sent straight home. WTH. Paranoia has finally hit hard.

Softer than Sponge,
Prof.

The Beat Still Goes On

2009-05-05T23:23:00.005+08:00

OMG. I saw this picture, which I haven't saw since like last July. SIGH, How I wish the college had a marching band. All the marching, drilling, flag-waving. But of course, I didn't get to do any cause of that pathetic bass drum strapped to my chest. But, oh gosh. How fun it was. And I get to lose weight like constantly, that's the key point to point out here. :D

We had practice at MJC that day. How ironic that i'd end up doing PE at the same field a year later. Hurhur. But what I wouldn't give to go back to marching again, especially those practices on the field. Gahhh.

And plus, all these talks of SYF is really making me feel like going for another SYF. 2006! Sigh.

But speaking of SYF... Good luck to MJ Symphonic Band for SYF Judging tomorrow. Gold with Honours, Guys! (:

Blow my Horn,
Prof.

There, I sworn. Happy?

2009-05-04T20:51:00.009+08:00

"Keep a secret from me. Then you just smile and walk away."

Temperature taking exercise. Responsible for the extended periods. Degrading. I swear if H1N1 ever do come here, i'll be more than happy to subject myself to it, so all of you won't have to subject yourselves to it.

Sometimes, like today, I just wish I could, urgh.
Unraveled. It just turned into a secret i'm not allowed to know.

And to quote Connie: WHY? WHY? WHY?

But, Congrats to MJ Soccer team for thrashing RJ with 4-1. Way to make a comeback! I felt the Meridian Might today (: We all did.

Fish,
Prof.

Origins of Internal Conflict

2009-05-03T18:58:00.003+08:00

"Why, i'd wear the top hat and dance with you. If only you took my hand for this last stride."

I was asked this question today: "What are the qualities that makes up the perfect girl?" Or something along that line.

And I knew what my answer was. Intelligence, Sensitivity and a never ending desire for Poetry. That is what my subconscious answered, in it's truest form. Really, it's beyond superficiality. I think that is what is keeping us from finding the one who we are really looking for. I dunno. Maybe we all haven't realised it yet but. Maybe someday. Maybe.

For ignorance, I shall say. One doesn't seem to know that he has it. Neither does he care. That in itself is ignorant. But what good is a person if he were to care about every single thing in this, demising and insignificant place we call Earth. Maybe what we all should aim to be are archetypes. Mutants in our own way - living in a surrealist world wear straight lines are actually curved and curved lines are merely lines, we think are radial in nature.

How much more complication can we take? How sure are you? When beeping frequencies start scratching through your thought plains, you get down on your knees, then you start praying that you're essentially like everyone else.

Want to know why? When you cage the beast, the beast will get angry.

Possibly Maybe,
Prof.

Sometimes, It is Just Like That.

2009-05-03T01:37:00.006+08:00

It's around 1.40 am on a Sunday morning. I shall be a diligent student and plan ahead. For tomorrow, I shall do the following before anything else:

Preliminary Idea V3.0
Literature's Poem Analysis
OVERDUED Economics Essay
Through-the-Lens Poster
General Paper Research & Project

But I have an irritatingly nagging feeling that I have more work. Lots more. Anyway, feast your eyes (especially Suuuu and Syaf if you're reading this) on Wolverine, with shorter hair. I take back what I said about him not being able to pull off a shaved face. To the both of you: Consider this as a favour. (:

I want Claws,
Prof.

The Only Thing that Matters.

2009-05-02T14:56:00.009+08:00

"If I could spare a thought for you, I will. But I won't."

If I had a penny every time I realised that work has to be done, I still won't have any money. Cause I still won't know that there's always work to be done.

Yeah, post-Labour Day blues and the realisation that tomorrow is a Sunday has finally sunk in. This is what happens every Saturday I guess. You realised that the best day of the week is actually Friday, because you know Saturday is not the best day to free your mind off everything, because you know tomorrow's a Sunday. That leaves you just enough time to breathe in, and smell the panic that will come the next day. By the time you'd actually sit down to recollect, the deluge would have picked you up and wash you up onto the shore.

Yeah, that is the life we all asked for.

Sometimes, dreams are not easy to come by. Who doesn't know that for a fact. But, most of the time, it just seems pointless to do anything anymore. No really. There's always gonna be another mountain, after the climb. By the time the climb is accomplished, another one suddenly pops up out of no where.

Sometimes, I guess, sufficing is enough.

p.s: Saturdays are when the online social scene turns, DEAD. In bold.

The Climb,
Prof.

And the Answer is No.

2009-05-01T00:18:00.003+08:00

"There will always be another fence to climb over."

And when you reach the other side, you'd want to climb back up around again. I fell on the rough brown patch and found out, there is no grass.

I just managed to glance at you today. As sanguine as it was, I still envisioned interlocking hands over layers of monosyllabic, one-word responses to labyrinthine questions we asked each other. How that doctrine of romance just became much more simpler when you're actually in the damn thing - and when we looked through, the sepia fades itself in and then everything starts making sense.

Over sulphur fumes I inebriate myself. But its effects just whisked off and again, I saw you. You held me back. Way back. For once, i'd be the victim, cause i'm tired of playing superheroes. But your eyes gave it away.

But it's not worth it anymore, don't you think. I no longer want to see serendipity in play. No longer want to hold that thought. I'm lost in the abyss and I don't want to get out. I bit into reality. You were reality. And I hate reality.

Reconciliation,
Prof.

How to Win a Soccer Match.

2009-04-30T21:04:00.005+08:00

Soccer really brings out the worst in people. If you were at the MJC vs ACJC match today, as innocent as you are, you will emerge out of the spectator gallery with a new vocabulary of profanities, I kid you not.

And if you've dropped by other blogs before you've made it here, then you might've heard that MJ lost. Yeah sad. Not as sad as the ACJC soccer captain's looks though. Which brings me to a very important point to girls. Don't say that a guy is hot unless you know how he looks like beforehand. I was expecting a Greek God and instead, I got someone who looked like a Powerpuff Girl who got beaten by Mojo Jojo. But yeah. Thank you ACJC for teaching us the value of playing dirty. Really good stuff to pass on to teach my children.

But, congratulations to people like Naeem and Tamanna who got to use their voices to good use today. Credit goes to Naeem for realising she is a mad woman. (: Scream louder next time.

Oh, and good luck to number 13 from the AC squad - who got nutcracked. Recover soon, if you can eh? (:

And with much more luck (and unnecessary cheering) hopefully the RJ vs MJ match on Monday will bring better reapings. Oh, that's a must see match.

Well, officially Swine Flu has become slacker's heaven. 23 people left school early today, according to the statistics from the General Office. Pathetic. Plus. I have just received word that it has moved on to orange alert. Don't know if that's a good thing or bad thing. It's okay, we will fight on with our thermometers and pink-coloured masks.

Ah well.

Nutcracker,
Prof.

Conflicting Issues.

2009-04-29T21:06:00.005+08:00

THE ALPHABET IS A CONSPIRACY TO BRAINWASH LINGUISTS.

Damn i'm tired. Tag something witty, someone.
Oh, are we still auditioning for Singapore Idol guys?
I want to sing like this.

Swine Flu,
Prof.

Who succeeds in the end?

2009-04-28T21:51:00.005+08:00

First & Foremost. A big, big congratulations to these lucky stiff for making it to the Seventh House Committee!

"Firza. Matthew M. Danial. Siddiq. Namira. Syafiqah. Suhaidah. Connie. Xiao Qi."

Not bad guys. You guys really deserved it! And my heartfelt congratulations to you guys! Make us proud (:

Well, what a bipolar day. What can get better than having 5 periods of consecutive breaks? Nothing. And after the whole drama of waiting for the results to be released for House Comm, everyone's happy - after a day of Camel Toes and Periods.

Like I know right. Ohmygawsh.

"Layar berbelok-belok, Sauh dibongkar di tempat tenang. Yang tinggal hati tak elok, yang pergi hati tak senang. Bila sampai waktu, kita akan bersama?"

Bi-polar Bear,
Prof.

Wait till the luck ran out.

2009-04-27T19:58:00.016+08:00

"Sometimes, we're being stupid. But we don't realise it."

I know for a fact that Love does not hunt for victims for it to gnaw on. We're simply victims in our own right, already sleeping in its gaping jaws waiting for it to close and swallow you whole. Then leave you in an abysmal gunk of pity.

Empty promises of being in each and every one of those dreams in each other's deep slumber. False speeches of faithfulness. And one important catalyst in this whole messed up equation, the hypocritical oath we all take once we confessed. But in ever sense of these words, there has always been something that everyone is missing out on. I don't want to know what it is, neither do I want to find out. How the eccentricity of the situation just bowls me over every single time I explore into this realm.

Once explored, you realised that you can't climb up the slippery cove the tide has washed you into. If what you did say is true. Prove it. Breathe into my neck damn it. Hold my hand, why don't you. Trivial things. How? You think it'll last. As subtle as it seems, i'll give it a minuscule duration. As apt as the sun is orange at 6 in the morning.

Let's Wait & See,
Prof.

Stay here and hold my hand.

2009-04-27T16:33:00.000+08:00

I realise that time management is not something I should be proud of. Don't ask.

GAH. Geog test question 1(a): Sketch and annotate the following figure of a LIMESTONE LANDSCAPE. What did I draw? A Camel. Go figure. Thank you MJ Geog Department.

What a screwed up moment.

And one more thing, God, if I can use one more prayer over the internet it'd be this: Please cool us down with, not rain, but... just cool us down somehow. Somehow. I swear I was seeing things today cause of the heatwave. Next on my wishlist, a heatstroke.

And another thing, do not study Literature and Geog concurrently. Was reading Wuthering Heights and studying weathering for Geography. I instantaneously saw the book title as 'Weathering Heights' a few minutes later. Oh damn.

This is when we all start to panic and start blaming the dude who invented the A Levels.

Monyet Jahat,
Prof.

Like a Dream that Never Ends

2009-04-26T16:56:00.012+08:00

"Do not hop for jump shots."

FINALLY, I am officially done with the VJC Musicfest Programme Booklet Design. Anyone want to go? I have free tickets. Heh.

Now, these damned Project Work PI, Lit project and Geog test.
I am about to pull all my hair out. Right about.... Now.

Note to self: Freelance designing do not take precedence to school work.
Note to Syafiqah: Cue 'Jeritan Sepi' soundtrack. NOW.

Homecoming,
Prof.

It's just Tears & Rain.

2009-04-23T20:52:00.004+08:00

Tears, frustration, nervousness, fear. That was today. It was interviews all around today for Excos of some of the CCAs and the house comm. It was quite nervewrecking seeing all of them go all out all at once. Really really hope those who went out for it gets what they want.

I should be studying for an Econs test. Should be. But I just have too many things to do. I will start soon, not now. Soon.

Escape me? Never- Beloved! While I am I, and you are you, So long as the world contains us both, Me the loving and you the loth, While the one eludes, must the other pursue. My life is a fault at last, I fear: It seems too much like a fate, indeed! Though I do my best I shall scarce succeed. But what if I fail of my purpose here? It is but to keep the nerves at strain, To dry one's eyes and laugh at a fall. And baffled, get up to begin again, - So the chase takes up one's life, that's all. While, look but once from your farthest bound, At me so deep in the dust and dark! No sooner the old hope drops to ground Than a new one, straight to the selfsame mark, I shape me- Ever Removed!

P.S: THIS is my interpretation of Gothic Lit characters.

I am the anti-hero,
Prof.

Fortissimo.

2009-04-23T00:04:00.008+08:00

"The more I get of you, the stranger it feels."

I beg you for a last kiss before I go. When obstinate imagery hudded at the corner of the room, my eyes explored and saw you cradling the pain I have left you with. The rain wets the pathway along which we used to walk together & the draft which blew into the window, which we used to look out of, blew the hair off your face. That strange, perplexed sorrow you served me perplexed me as well. I grabbed you and you flinched. How long will I have to wait then? I've seen those tears. I still won't know what they've been cried out for.

Is this what I will be subjected to for always. Damn it, why now. Why at this very moment. If I told you, you've cried way too many times. If I told you, those streams of anguish, which soak your pillow at quiet nights were not what I think they were meant for. I would just die and maybe have a better life after death, rather than wait here for you to stop the waterworks. It's just a waste. You're a waste.

Oh damn. But what if I regret this. Get me a razorblade somebody.

Allegretto,
Prof.

Shades the imperfections.

2009-04-22T21:42:00.008+08:00

"Happiness, personified in a package."

I have finally lifted the burden off these shoulders, for now. And you know that you're really tired and need some shut-eye when you start using shampoo as shower cream.

Pre-U Sem NMA Production, Checked. PI second draft, Checked. Human Geog test, Checked. I am temporarily free of burden. The only thing that I have to clear by Monday is the VJC Musicfest Booklet. Shouldn't have taken the job. It's one of those 'but...' moments.

Anyway, it's a good news day today. Firstly, let me congratulate Christel Quek for getting accepted into SMU. Have fun having a hard time choosing which Uni to go to. (: Oh, and yes. I have submitted myself to the slavings of Photog Club. I am an Exco member. Oh dear God. What have I gotten myself into. Kind of glad i'm the first one in the class to get a position though (Nizam you don't count) and the sense of accomplishment just starts glowing out. Gahh. A big congrats to Shruthi, Ivan, Soon Hao, Justin, Chin Yee, Samantha, Kenny and Gillian for making it into the Exco too! Perfect bunch of idiots. Now, waiting for the posting results of our positions by Friday.

And the NE Award interview is tomorrow. Tsk.
I'm starting to feel like an overachiever.

Libertango,
Prof.

I went Trigger Happy.

2009-04-20T22:24:00.005+08:00

"That is what friends are for."

Well, after missing two days of blogging opportunities, i've decided to just give it a heck of an update now, since Suhaidah made me realise that my blog actually has a significantly high readership. MONKEYBOX VOLUME II is officially a worthwhile read. Suuuu, you shall be my first Monkeyboxer!

Been a rough day today, after thinking that I lost my phone thrice and my wallet once and iPod Touch twice. That's how much of retardation I experience per day (average approximation) and it may be more. And after all that time of thinking that I lost my posessions have made the others ignorant of my stupidity. That's not nice.

Initiated a new Facebook album: The Camwhore Campus. Yes, the pictures of all the Meridian Camwhores are there. Well, excluding some absent souls. And after getting 15 straight notifications about how funny the pictures are, I finally realised that Facebook is a wonderful social networking tool. Especially when you get pictures like this - which may make some people click the report abuse button and get the following notice.

You are about to report a violation of our Terms of Use. All reports are strictly confidential.
We will NOT remove photos just because they're unflattering.

I know right. Photos will not be taken out cause they're unflattering. How sad. That means my job is still secured then. (:

SIGH, PW SECOND DRAFT DUE TOMORROW. Better start cracking.

Quixote,
Prof.

Can you please spell Gabanna?

2009-04-18T00:44:00.004+08:00

I have been looking for this crazy thing for a week now.
FINALLY.

Now I can laugh my ass off. :B

Much Effort,
Prof.

That Orgasmic Feeling.

2009-04-16T21:27:00.003+08:00

TREZELLE SAMANTHA WHO.

Yes, that is now my (unofficial) new name in class. And the girls have their own male names, RIGHT JAKE HEATHCLIFF & HUGH RHYS-MAYERS?

I realised that I have no idea what Dance got for SYF. I need to find it out really soon.And Nizam is sick. But he's coming to school tomorrow. :B

And I HAVE to post this monologue of Tamanna's today.

Prelude: All of us were hugging the dancers and wishing them good luck for their competition when Tamanna came, blur-faced while we were all wishing our good lucks.

Tamanna: OMG! What's happening? Is there a Chinese test later? GOOD LUCK CONNIEKINS!

That was bimbo moment of the year. I bet it'll get nominated for the millennial award. Hahaha.

And there's a good quote from Syafiqah today too during Lit.
Mr Low was asking Matthew M to give the answer to the question "What are they looking at?" for poem analysis. Matt M took it as a sexual innuendo and replied, "I'm looking at you." With this reply, GP jittered about and uttered...

"I assure all of you that I am a STRAIGHT man." (Hurhur.)

And this is what Syaf said...
"YEAH, as straight as a Twistie(s)."

What is happening to us. Inebriation I reckon.
Someone's been drinking. (:

What is subjective?
Prof.

I am not going to Miss You.

2009-04-15T22:49:00.006+08:00

You are looking at the owner of a new Macbook! Aluminium Unibody (drool)
Finally got it, baby. But just waiting for the whole order to get approved. I can't wait to use this bad boy when it comes. (:

Now to wait for Christel Quek to give me the Christel package for it, then it'll be the perfect machine.

Sigh, I screwed up rally today. Primarily because my headaches came back and forth before I could even go up on stage. And tomorrow's my EXCO interview. I really don't have a good feeling about this. Not saying I wouldn't feel great if I make it to EXCO, but the interview MAY not go well. I just know it. But i've decided to accept the associate designer position for College Publications that Asyraf recommended me to. So, that's one task in the bag.

Still a lot of work in my hands. PW FIRST PRELIMINARY IDEA DRAFT. Yes, it's not handed in yet. OVERDUED ECONS HOMEWORK, which by the way was dued over a week ago, and a Malay Karangan that i'm supposed to do now. Groan.

Better get to it then.

Summer Sunshine,
Prof.

Tissues on the Floor.

2009-04-14T00:36:00.002+08:00

ASYRAF K. You better thank me.
Finally done with Asyraf's article design. Designed a darned 2-page spread. But, it's my first ever magazine publication article and i'm damn proud of it. (:

Now i'm left with two other animation videos to work on. Sometimes I wonder why I shouldn't just train to be a media publisher instead of wasting my time in JC. Darn. But it's all for the best I guess.

Today was the best day of the week so far, even though its only Tuesday today, but still. I watched those poor souls doing PE, thanks to the 11-day MC. So maybe that made me happy today. Well, Lit test. Taming of the Shrew is officially crossed out from my 'must-reads' and never to be touched except for official purposes. I swear, Shakespeare is irritatingly headache-inducing.

And tomorrow's a Wednesday. Short day tomorrow. Except for Photog in the afternoon, and Wuthering Heights test. Another Lit test. How merciful the benevolent forces up there is.

Hopefully it's just as cheerful tomorrow.

Sleep-deprived,
Prof.

Let's play a Love Game.

2009-04-13T21:06:00.012+08:00

"Because I knew I had to just give you a nonchalant smug, and then just walk away."

I had no idea why I felt so lost today despite being accompanied by a sea of faces - all I have knew more than well. But I just knew that things were not going to get better today, so I just went about in my deluded state and put on a cracked insincere smile on my face, beneath that veneer of confusion. It'd be amazing if anyone notices that pathetic thing you might call a smile. But if you did, just go along with it.

Sigh, It's just because there's just too many things to be thought over, which I am incapable of. Plus, relentlessly, inferiority complex is starting to take over again. Just what I need. So, should I just do what I think is right? Or do what I believe is just? How better the world would be if hard decisions were made for us.

But thankfully God planned out my whole entire life for me.

Pfft. And Nizam. You took my five bucks. :(
If you're not feeling guilty about using it, go right ahead.

And before I end this on a completely blanked out note, WHAT THE FISH IS HUGH JACKMAN DOING ON A KOREAN VARIETY SHOW?! GAWD.

LOL. Credits to Suuu for this perk-me-up.

Deludia,
Prof.

There's no way we can talk about it.

2009-04-13T00:05:00.011+08:00

"I've seen you cry, way too many times."

Sometimes, the day just hits you hard. Without any warning, you'd just fall and graze yourself on the tarmac. But then, the pain is no longer there. I fell too many times on the same place, and the same amount of blood got displaced from my veins that the whole redundant cycle just immunes itself. I didn't even get a chance to cry, but when I try to, my eyes dams up the Pandora's Box of suffrage that is begging to come out. Maybe it's for a reason. Or maybe i'm subconsciously telling myself to find the greatest escape I can possibly find.

There is without doubt that I find all of this, already stale. For what it is worth, I can't save myself anymore. If you are reading this, ignore what was said. Ignore what was subtly suppressed into this static, one-note conversation we are having now. Ignore these relentless cries for attention. Ignore what was ever said from this mouth, because all of it is only as sincere as it can get - a Midnight letter.

Life, grant me another wish. Just beat me to death.
And if that came true, tell the others to give me another beating.
Cause there is nothing worth living for anymore.

I don't deserve this,
Prof.

Getting ready to Leave the Crowd.

2009-04-12T14:12:00.039+08:00

"Then we can stop pretending we have anything in common anymore."

How are testaments made. How obsession drives away jealousy over the creed that I once wrote. Written then read repeatedly. Till eyes carved blood rivers, and shoot blank stares at meaningless virtues. And when the city of blinding lights blankets under darkness. And even when blindfolds don't hide the lies anymore. And when people you don't talk to starts talking to you. And then you wonder whether they're pledging a hypocritical allegiance. Then you will know, the world will crumble, and you will witness it in all its glory. Bloody hell. How did this happen. Even when the red is at its purest. But black still taints the river stream of red, drop by drop.

Then again, I ask myself. Is this all worth it. Or should I just sit at the edge of the tallest tower I can find, and contemplate death for a minute. And end it all, by letting go of that grip.

That wouldn't be a wise choice to make.

Impaired Judgement,
Prof.

When Skies Turn Vermillion.

2009-04-12T01:46:00.004+08:00

OMG. This goes out to the Hugh-High people.
Which includes, Suuuu, and Syaf and, Connie? Are you one? :D

"What do you call a Hugh after he's eaten? HUGH-MONGOUS!"

HAHAHA, I have no idea where that came from but I think it came after a combination of reading Suhaidah's blog and Connie's 'What 358 should I take to go to school?" phone call. OHMYGOD. You guys better get that joke.

And since Syafiqah has announced her new relationship status on Facebook - 'In an Open Relationship' then I shall announced my status too.

I am in a Closed Relationship
Opening Hours: 9.00am - 6.00pm, On weekdays ONLY.

Good God, I should be doing work. After getting better, i'm still procrastinating.
By writing such a lame post. Maybe cause school's tomorrow. And i'm finally resuming lessons. :(

P.S: Jiawen! You okay not. It is not Viral Meningitis.

Tag Sil Vous Plait,
Prof.

When you put on a Show.

2009-04-11T15:53:00.005+08:00

Who knew Poker Face and Circus can be mashed up.
This guy is a GENIUS.

Circus Faced,
Prof.

Moving at Glacial Pace. How Thrilling.

2009-04-10T23:23:00.007+08:00

This is one of the moments that makes me proud to be an MJC student.

Meridian JC tops project work

AROUND 95 per cent of Meridian Junior College (MJC) students scored As in Project Work, making their school the top performer in the A-level subject this year.

The school beat top JCs Hwa Chong Institution, which had 85 per cent distinctions, and Raffles Institution (Junior College) which had 92 per cent distinctions.

MJC's latest results cap its strong performance in Project Work in recent years, despite not being a top-ranked JC. Last year, 73 per cent of its students scored As and about half received the grade in 2007.

The school's deputy head of project work David Kwek attributes his school's success to the way the subject is taught.

'We inspire creativity in the students by exposing them to exciting trends and interesting things that companies are doing,' he said.

MJC student Andrea Ang, 18, who worked on a project on mega structures as a symbols of countries' progress, said being exposed to new, creative trends motivated her group-mates and her to look at topics from new angles. Her group scored an A for the project.

She added: 'Instead of focusing on the size and how mega structures like skyscrappers were built, my group-mates and I thought about how they could be seen as reflections of a country's progress. I think looking at things in a fresh way gave our project an extra edge.'

Project Work, which makes up 10 per cent of the universities' admission criteria, has been dogged by controversy since it was introduced as an A-level subject six years ago because it is marked internally. It is also moderated in-house by junior college teachers before being sent for external moderation.

While the in-depth research project was introduced to develop students' research, problem-solving, communication and teamwork abilities, some teachers and students question the accuracy of test results.

Last year, Temasek Junior College's results raised eyebrows as 87 per cent of its students scored As for the subject, a giant leap from 7 per cent the previous year. This year, about 50 per cent of its students scored an A.
Source: The Straits Times, April 9 2009.

Sigh. Now this is a heavy burden for us to carry. How can we raise the standards now? Gosh. But, nevertheless, we will try. How glad I am now that I've gone to MJ instead of, well, some other JC.

Well. So much for practice what you preach. THANK YOU CHRISTEL QUEK HUI QI, for making me queue through three loops to get into UNIQLO. Oh god. But I am still in delirium cause I managed to buy off two freaking polos. Oh yes baby. I really need em. Now to grab those $19.90 shirts before they're all gone. *Drool*

AND, i've decided. I'm getting a Macbook - Aluminium Unibody. Cause the white one yellows up, said an experienced Mac user.

Retail therapy is not an actual hospital treatment,
Prof.

How to Survive Exaltation.

2009-04-10T00:34:00.007+08:00

I lingered round them, under that benign sky; watched the moths fluttering among the heath and harebells. listened to the soft wind breathing through the grass, and wondered how any one could ever imagine unquiet slumbers for the sleepers in that quiet Earth.

I need to take things slow. Much, much slower.

On another note, I swear Singaporeans will queue for almost anything. To whoever who has visited TampinesOne, you would have heard that 5000 people started queuing up at UNIQLO since 10 am in the morning. Come on people, it's just clothes. You expect to line up all the way through the fire escape just to get in and what, BROWSE through clothes? Absurdly Singaporean. And this goes to you too Christel Quek. You had every intention to queue. Good God.

Anyway, i'm still contemplating whether I should make way to Naeem's for her housewarming later. I feel alright though, just this huge tired feeling resting on me for the past few days after discharge. But I do miss the class, and there's still catching up to do. So, sigh. Let's just see.

About the Macbook, i'm probably going to buy it by this Sunday. I have to. So, now the problem is, should I get the Aluminium Unibody or The White Polycarbonate - classic case of aesthetics over budget. Oh darn.

I'm gonna go sleep on it.

p.s: Congratulations to the MJC 2009 cohort for achieving a 95.5% distinctions in PROJECT WORK. That's something to brag about.

Wuthering,
Prof.

Do not Pass GO.

2009-04-09T11:56:00.007+08:00

As sombre as red. How classic that misery should be played, by such a hypocrite, such as you. There's no other way.

Eleven days of MC. That's how long i'm cooped up.
But of course, I plan to go back to school next Monday. I have to.

Well, I was texting Syafiqah last night, who by the way I've yet to thank personally for checking up on me, every single day. You're such a good buddy. :D

Anyway, it wasn't until yesterday, when I was having that conversation with her that I realised, we're just playing a never-ending Monopoly game. Yeah, I got the 'Get Out of Jail free' Card but i'm missing out on all the money I can collect. How depressing. If only we'd play Scrabble instead. Sigh.

Pfft. I need to get my PI done by Friday night! Grrrr.
But i'm too puffed out right now.

AND I NEED A MACBOOK VERY VERY URGENTLY. ):

Incredulous,
Prof.

The seven day hiatus.

2009-04-08T16:01:00.007+08:00

Finally, I am back.
How coincidental that I signed off with 'Last Words' in my last post.

My fingers are itching to type in something, all the while I was in the hospital.
By the way, thank you so, so much to whoever visited me at CGH. At least the visits kept me from sleeping all day.

Urgh. And I have loads of work to catch up on. This is distressing. Sigh. I shall try to consolidate all that I can. And the best part is, i'm still nauseous. I need to lie down.

And before I forget, I'd like to congratulate TK Band for the GOLD in the Singapore Youth Festival 2009! I'm so proud of you guys! :D

Oh, and a message from Mr Low Gek Piao - to Lit Students.

Hi Guys! I'll be screening Shakespeare in Love tomorrow, from 5.15pm sharp, at T2-2. It's a 2 hour movie, and involves nudity, in case some people need to know in advance, if they want to cover their eyes at junctures.

- Mr Low.

HAHAHA. Right, Mr Low.

Idle,
Prof.

oh, fiddlesticks.

2009-04-01T19:05:00.003+08:00

House Nomination today. Meh.

Syaf, Suuu and Connie for Atlas.
Firza, Namira, Matthew and Mard for Phobos.
Siddiq and Aishah for Callisto.

Congrats guys. And good luck! :)

April Fools day today. Meh.
A lot of backfired pranks.

And as usual, busy nights.

p.s: SYAFIQAH, I AM SO SO TRULY SORRY FOR RESETTING YOUR CALCULATOR. SPARE ME THE GUILT TRIP! I hate guilt trips. ):

Last Words,
Prof.

When men kicked balls, for no reason.

2009-03-31T21:25:00.003+08:00

Here are the three unlikeliest people that will ever watch soccer, watching a soccer match in MJ.

Yes, we watched the soccer match between MJ and River Valley High. The best part of the match, was a toss up between looking at the idle MJ Goalkeeper doing nothing at the end of the field and when the ball ended up hitting the surveillance camera at the Gallery corner. Yes, Namira. I just adore soccer now. I bet you do too. Oh we won by the way. Well, that's besides the point.

I don't really like what happened today. Cause Lit tutorial was too gay for my liking. Not pointing out the reason for the overly-gay atmosphere but *cough*GP*cough* Oh, that feels better. (:

Sigh, and now. You'd know that the economic recession is affecting everyone when you can't afford to make sound effects anymore, vocally. *GASP*

Happy Pre-AFD.
Prof.

Let the plagues spread.

2009-03-30T16:10:00.005+08:00

And I thought I was sick during term break.
Never felt as lousy have I feel now.
Eyes have been bloodshot for a full 16 hours now, and counting.
Hopefully, the red will subside by tomorrow and i'd stop feeling drowsy.
Who wouldn't be after being stuck on the nebulizer in the hospital for an hour, being drugged out. Hence, I am officially absent from school today.

What a day to be absent lah. Soleil's surprise extravaganza is today, oh which by the way reminds me to wish her...a very HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SOLEIL! To Pedra Branca: May your islands grow bigger. (: And I owe you one for not coming, and missing out on your surprise.

Well, that was one, and then I got calls from both Syafiqah & Asyraf telling me news about PW. Thank you Syafiqah for giving me the best suspense moment in my life. I shall demonstrate to you what choking means tomorrow. Asyraf told me about homework, and updated me with gossip... About he-who-shall-not-be-named & boy, was it good news.

Besides that, a few others smsed me today. Dr S, who assumed we were lost, smsed me during Lit period, telling me of her where-abouts. Assumingly, the group had trouble deciding where to go for Lit. Figures. Oh, and Clement, if you're reading this... sorry for not replying to your message. I was too paralysed to sms you & I am still too paralysed to initiate the sms conversation. (:

Okay, shall catch up with homework then.

p.s: FIRZA. So sorry you had to lug the present all day. Make it up to you tomorrow right? (:

War,
Prof.

Shakespeare, you raunchy gentleman.

2009-03-29T22:18:00.007+08:00

Okay, this may sound stupid after the previous post, but.
I found my 'A Winter's Tale' ticket.
Well, and yes, I did eventually spend my Sunday at The Esplanade Theatre.

The journey to Esplanade was kind of a fluke. The cab driver forgot to turn on the fare meter and I ended up paying the poor guy eight dollars, based on estimations. But assumingly, it probably would have costed an average of more than ten bucks. I barely made it though. Upon arrival the first bell rang, asking us to take our seats.

The next few paragraphs will be a review of the play. Might want to skip the whole dreary part, if you've not gone for the play.

Generally, i'd say the play was well done. Very minimalist, yet effective sets and music compositions to complement the whole production. However, the intense psychological drama in the initial scenes contradicts too much with the optimism which was introduced in the later parts of the play, which brought about a sense of complication & confusion eventually.

Despite that, the evocation of humour in the production is brought out quite well. Especially the Pornomime segment. YES, THERE IS A PORNOMIME SCENE. It was quite refreshing to see entendres being conceptualised, after the semi-monotonous dialogues and monologues have been spoken. Plus, the production company have done a good job in maintaining authenticity and austerity, prevalent in aspects of costumes, setting and the contrasting issues being played up. In addition, the balance and contrast of both monochrome and technicolour sets brought about a sense of incandescence and realism - which was further complimented by the actors playing their characters, especially Ethan Hawke who played Autolycus. Right Ranice? Right Tamanna?

Overall, 4 stars. (:

END.

Well, anyway. Nizam was kind of freaked out cause both of us wore similar outfits - striped long sleeved black shirts with sleeves folded in, and a pair of similar coloured jeans. HAHAHA. You and me both Nizam.

I want to watch more plays. Groan.
CATS anyone?

In Reverance,
Prof.

For your masochistic pleasures.

2009-03-29T11:37:00.003+08:00

If all else fails, sleep.
And that works half the time.

Been blog hopping these past few days. Since I practically scanned through every single blog to quench my thirst for a new read, I just decided to read through archives. How interesting it is to see the collective moments of a person, rather than a disjointed story that we tell day by day. When you read their posts from beginning right till the end, well, let's just say it's more enjoyable in a sense. How you can see them mature as years go by from their style of writing, how there is always raw emotions in their initial posts, and then slowly succumbing to a hypocritical and senseless banter that most of us are subjected to most recently. Of course, i'm not saying i'm spared from such a doing. But it does make me ask myself, if everyone is just going so darn fast.

And since i'll be staying home this wonderful Sunday (cause I LOST the Winter's Tale tickets) I guess i'll be doing some revising then. I swear one of these days I will end up getting lost in school. Things can never settle themselves in my posession. Crap.

I ran out of things to say.
Prof.

Eroticism for Mathematicians.

2009-03-28T23:49:00.003+08:00

EARTH HOUR? I didn't get the notice.

Like I mean seriously. The irony of the whole situation yesterday was that, as 8.30pm approached, half the neighbourhood got brighter. By nine, it was as bright as National Day. And I was expecting like, people walking around with candlesticks as the norm within the hour.

Singaporeans.

Oh gosh. College is really taking a toll on me. I think by now, I should be screaming at the realisation that I have been bombarded by assignments - most of which I cannot finish. Yeah, blame it on me for poor time management. It's been a while since I felt that. I swear to God, I am shedding bit by bit.

And this comment may sound a bit bimbotic, but...
I HAVE WRINKLES AND LAUGH LINES.
No one gets them when they're seventeen for God's sakes.

Urgh, and many burnouts are transferring to Poly. Oh how tempting it is. Especially when the Poly freshmen are making such a big fuss about Poly orientation camps, which made me think about just climbing up to the MJ abseilling station and just jump off the ledge. Then, blissfully looking at people crowding around the cesspool of blood.

Of course, that's never gonna happen.

Groan. It's Sunday.
That means tomorrow's Monday.
Oh damn it.

Tag & you'll get two bucks,
Prof.

Porn for Economists.

2009-03-28T18:11:00.006+08:00

Oh, how stagnant today is. Came back from VJC a few hours ago.
EXPOSÉ was alright I guess. Not entirely as impressive as I thought it'd be. But, not entirely boring either. Expected more though.

And Photog outing just now was rad.

Okay, better get cracking at the overdued Econs essay. I've already been screwed.

p.s: Brandon, if you're reading this, go lick a Leslie.

Sighs loudly,
Prof.

Sexual Innuendos & Double Entendres. Part II.

2009-03-27T20:49:00.006+08:00

The weekends again. And homework is up to the nose, as usual.
Well, Project Work, finally started. So now there's that to worry about.
It's a tossup between Conservation and Emergency this year - and both are potentially controversial topics to work on.

Almost everyone else has plans today, tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.
Band camp here. Speech day there. And Asyraf is stalking Nicole Linkletter at Paragon. Great stuff going on.

And yes. In my random whim, I blatantly searched for 'Taming of the Shrew' on Youtube and this is what I got - A Modern Adaptation of. Seemed interesting. Might want to watch it, eh.

What a weekend.
Saturday - VJC EXPOSÉ
Sunday - Singapore Repertory Theatre's : A Winter's Tale.

And with that, another week's homework, nudged away.

Oh, is that it?
Prof.

To perchance a dream.

2009-03-27T19:12:00.010+08:00

I noticed how the sun always shines across the turf.
Then poignant moments starts playing through the reel.
And then everything seemed to fall into place.

But a second later, crumble.
As fast as I could think of the excruciation you gave me.

Years from now, I will look back. And regret why I didn't do what I wanted to do. Regret not seeing what I should have been seeing, all the while. And undeniably, regret the fact that I should have been the one making the first cut. Maybe it will all be a fading memory. Or then again, it might just only be a self-righteous journey i'm taking - and how selfish I realised I had become after all these times.
In a way, I have thrown every prevalent thought of you away. But I can do nothing. Nothing, but lament at the idea of sifting you out of the endless array of crap I have in my restless mind.

Eventually, i'd just end up with a prose that even philosophers can't decipher.
I'll then clammer away at my selfish self.

How I wish.

Unscrutinably,
Prof.

Romeo: looking for Juliet.

2009-03-26T20:54:00.011+08:00

I just had to peel this off from Connie's domain and put it here.
It's a conversation we had after GP.
This is spoken from Connie's perspective.

Me: Ah, I want to go swim later la.
Erfi: I also want, I go with you.
Me: No way, I then don't want to be seen in a swimming costume.
Erfi: I also not say will look at you right.
Erfi: You wear one piece or two piece?
Syafiqah: Omg, Erfi ._.

How wonderful it is to see irony at work, isn't it. I probably wasn't thinking straight then, who wouldn't be, after 15 periods.

And, oh how fun today's Literature tutorial was. While all of the other philistines are sitting in dingy classrooms indulging in tutorial worksheets, we're playing games in the AVA room. During tutorial. Beat that. (:

Err, oh. Photos of yesterday's cleanup are finally posted up.

There you go. (:

And apparently, i'm now a silver gymnast. Thanks PPC.

Oh, and the realisation that I was the ONLY ONE in the school who can do a decent Filipino maid impersonation just hit me a minute ago. I probably spoke 'Filipino' like at least 10 times in two days, and it all resulted in disbelief. And then laughter. Great. I'm a maid now.

Sigh.
Okay, i'm gonna go sleep now.

What's happening?
Prof.

I plucked the petals off.

2009-03-25T16:16:00.005+08:00

Exhausted.
Photog being so, well... Enthused, Had to have CCA today. While the school remained remotely vacant for the whole of the afternoon, we were all shifting stuff from the old clubroom to the new clubroom. And it is a hell of a session. I swear I need a back brace after today. Plus, Mr Cheng has been making fun of me the whole day - cause apparently, he finds it sensual when I mop the floor. Gross lah, PPC. HAHAHA.

Ah, well. Got a few things to do today. GP project. Maths Assignment and Geog tutorial. And yeah, and some really really really overdued homework that i'm supposed to do but has not started at all. I can't face another essay, for nuts sake.

Anyway, just wanna comment on "realist's" tag regarding the shirt:
Hmmm, well do you have issues about the shirt? Well, if you are from an Arts class, just bring it up to me and i'll pass it on to the design committee. Well, by the way, I didn't come up with the design. I just helped design the shirt digitally, so... I'm so sorry, cause I need to seek approval from the others if you want me to change the design. Do leave a suggestion if you want. (:

Sigh, okay. Getting on with homework.

Crap, life's a Bitch.
Prof.

It's a Love Story.

2009-03-24T23:17:00.010+08:00

Stupid Probability test that I am not studying for tomorrow.
You hear right. I am NOT studying for the Probability test tomorrow. Screw it.

On another side note,
The MJC Arts Faculty Tee designs are up!
Finished them at around 2am yesterday.

I want the shirt NOW. Or we'll be stuck with wearing house shirts on Wednesdays - and officiating the day as Banana Wednesdays. That's not making a statement, at all.

Good thing GP's not first period tomorrow. Finally something good came with the timetable change. Geography's first period though. So, yeah.

Sigh.

Oh damn,
Prof.

Confessions.

2009-03-23T22:47:00.007+08:00

I know.
I'm just afraid.
That what we have.
Will be ruined.
But I am serious.
As serious as I've ever been.

Really,
Prof.

Reminiscent of my times with you.

2009-03-23T21:40:00.006+08:00

Sigh. Wasn't feeling that particularly perky today.
And I guess some of the Meridians kind of saw that.

Thanks so much to Soleil, Suuuuu & Alyah for smsing the 'are you alright?' messages. The fact that you guys actually bothered to show concern really meant the world to me. Plus, all the others who asked me if I was alright personally today, and gave me like hugs. It's times like this when I realise how grateful I am to have friends like you guys. Makes me feel like the luckiest guy on the face of this Planet.

And for that, I thank you dearest friends.

First day of the new term. Wasn't so bad.
I still have overdued homework though. Like, a Geog essay and a Lit essay.Doubtful if i'm going to start on the Lit essay tonight though. Cause for all I know.. It's supposed to be handed in by the END OF THE WEEK. Apparently.
Well, yeah. Got caught for not doing Binomial tutorials, but I, as usual lied my way through and escaped. The day ended with a nice Pre-U Sem meeting, as usual on Monday's agenda. Urgh.

Yeah well. And I do need new blogs to stalk by the way. If any random people happen to pass by here and have a blog, please please leave me links, cause i'm desperate for a fresh read. (Cause most of my friends aren't blogging as often as I want them to) Oh, and thanks to my loyal Blogstalkers, who frequents this joint.

I'm so gonna initiate a contest or something for you guys. I dunno. Or something. I feel too guilty making you all read crap while you all gain nothing out of crap. For once, crap should be repaid with something useful.

Okay, I better start on homework.

P.S: CONNIE. Josh, Pete, Kester, Cassie, Jason & Sally should get together for a tea party someday(:

P.P.S: & CHRISTEL QUEK HUI QI, The new Geog teacher is NOT BLONDE, is not as buffed up as Mr. Tan and he is not at all, HOT. In anyway. Blind urh you.

Unrequited,
Prof.

Cross the rail. The train will hit you.

2009-03-21T23:00:00.004+08:00

Seeing pencils line the white, over unwritten verses, where ambivalences once draped over obstinate treachery. He is wondering how he sees the world through intrinsic aversiveness. Through random, simultaneous, conflicting feelings. Through valences of which neither he or she can explore. He sees how lies are made. She sees truths. He saw treason. But he looked at her, with piercing stares and a cross-hatched smile.

You, on the other side of the track, sat there, waiting. Threw despairing glances at each. He saw those eyes, reflecting gasping instances of attraction. How your enigmatic visage hides a secret so well, yet your thoughts speaks otherwise. You looked, and said words, which faded into oblivion - reminiscent of when we burst bubbles in Summer. The wind blew you. Hence, gone.

Cried tears of subjection that night. How ineffable your memories are. A tender touch slid across his face, as he saw her for the last time, crossing over to the void of nothingness. Nothing has been quite as abstract as our Love.

My Happy Ending,
Prof.

It was intentionally said.

2009-03-21T16:24:00.002+08:00

It is so frustrating when you try to get things done, it wouldn't happen.
Got back from the rushed homework session with Sze-Ern just a while ago, and what have I done? ONE Geog Essay.
Doesn't help that we talked like 60% of the time.

And there's still a gazillion Econs and Maths questions to be completed.
Not to mention the Lit essay that has to be handed in before 8am Monday morning.
Holidays screwed.

Okay, off to rush the remaining work.
OH and by the way, Literature students. If you are reading this...
A message from Dr Saradetch.

I've decided to postpone the Lit test to the following week.
I feel rather nice today, so i'm going to do just that.
Have a pleasant remainder to your holidays! (:

- Dr Saradetch.

Ah. God still Loves us.

Unsurprisingly awkward,
Prof.

Ipso Facto.

2009-03-20T15:53:00.009+08:00

I don't think i'm ready to face you; I am not omniscient - I can't explain. I don't want to put myself, physically, infront of you; I wouldn't know what to say. I don't want to put you through all that again; I just want you to be happy.

But, I saw eyes too expressive to be blue, too intricate to be ashen, too lavish to be hazel. & when I turned away, I cried.

It feels like i'm already over the edge, of something non-existant. My toes are hanging over obscelence, as waves underneath eat through the granite, and I wonder to myself, whether I will be consumed by an almighty entity. But doors to the inner sanctum closed, shut before I could just dive into the malevolence down above. Somehow, while underneath the stars, I caressed the idea of a broken promise, clutched the notion of a broken dream & throdded on broken strings. Playing duly on the dew-dropped grass, I threaded rose thorns on the end of a bleeding vessel. And those eyes came glancing, one shut. The awkwardness engulfed my frame. Completely.

Monday: Lit test. Three cheers for overhyped enthusiasm.
Nizam, Let's just go with your suggestion. I'm desperate.

Perplexed,
Prof.

Oh, delirium.

2009-03-19T22:58:00.012+08:00

Top 5 Reasons Why You Should Get ~~Anxious~~ Paranoid.

1. People start giving you subliminal signals.
2. When you proclaim something, people start agreeing with you.
3. You were told about things, that you wish were true.
4. More people start to do number 4 - & you'll start feeling like an idiot.
5. When you know that everyone else has known.

Yeah, 1 - 5 checked. & to say that I'm scared, will be the most understated comment I will ever make to myself. I am loss for words at this point and the only reaction I can give to anyone now, is a blank stare. I shouldn't have done what I've done.

Sigh, Dare wo omotte 'ru n' darou?

Regret is my Friend,
Prof.

it's time to run far, far away.

2009-03-19T02:24:00.006+08:00

As a thousand calls out to Persephone,
I stood waiting for her call, her eying;
Tender gaze to amble through my mind.
For it used to give me the most relished satisfaction.

And when fallacies relied on ironies,
I saw the still night turned Vermilion.

Wednesday went by so fast didn't it.
Thanks to certain persons who made my day.

Today's flu just got worse. Now it's a full blown fever and I feel super miserable now. I swear that it felt like someone was sitting on my head, before I could even get out of bed. So, it's just a quick update for now.

A HUGE, HUGE APOLOGY to the NMA team for not being able to make it for the meeting today. Especially to Suuu, who sounded angry and sarcastic over the phone after giving me a call. Sorry guys!

Bleh, I feel a sneeze coming.

p.s: What's happening now, then?

Screwed,
Prof.

and when you know it's all gone.

2009-03-18T13:42:00.011+08:00

It's officially the third weekday of term break, & the 6th day of the holidays.
And yes, I've not even touched my homework yet.
I should be worried. Somehow, i'm not. (It'll come to me around Saturday)

I guess it's flu season now. Probably saw the flu ad on TV for the millionth time now. And hence, I just got the flu bug from Nizam, who hypothesized that I got it from eating his leftover cheeseburger that day. So, thanks a lot for the flu, Nizam. Like seriously. I've been wanting to get a distraction ever since yesterday. With all of this, i've lost the mood to do anything productive for the moment, especially assignments - with all the e-Learning and online work and what not. There's such a thing as overkill, you know. Schools should learn to realise that once in a while.

And this is when I ask myself, Why.

Hearing it from you yourself, I realised that it is going to happen one way or another. I kept thinking that it isn't going to be true, that it would not happen. But if it did, I can't do anything but be happy for you, and I can do anything but smear myself with the remnants of unfulfillment.

It's still too late,
Prof.

five words.

2009-03-17T22:31:00.002+08:00

I think it's too late,
Prof.

Oh, of all the insanity.

2009-03-17T13:22:00.005+08:00

I JUST CAN'T BRING MYSELF TO START DOING HOMEWORK.

And there is so many things to do. Turns out we have 10-ish bullet points to finish during the holidays - thank God for Syafiqah who wrote all the assignments down on a piece of paper.

By the way, yesterday was the day Nizam, Syaf, Ranice, Asyraf and yours truly ~~studied~~ slacked, bitched & camwhored at the airport. Yes, apparently the study session was non-existant - plus I realised we didn't bitched much about our 'best friend' as much as I thought we would be. So much for Team Bitch. :D

Then went back to TK, to check out the band camp. Totally crashed their nightwalk even though we were asked not to. Unsurprisingly, I had to be the laugh-like-mad dead little girl with the traumatic past. Laughed my head off, till headaches came. Then, went to Geraldine's Geylang clubhouse - to play squirt the prostitutes. Hurhur. Figures.

Okay, yesterday was the best day of the holidays so far. I'm bored to death at home (besides knowing that prospects of doing homework now is like zero.) and I really feel like just going out with random people. IT'S TERM BREAK. Who the hell decided to pair the words "Holiday" and "Homework" together? He ought to be shot. SHOT.

Whatever, i'm gonna just do what I think i'm gonna do that's fun.
Oh wait, YES urh. 541345 for TAP TAP REVENGE, baby.
And I NEED MORE FACEBOOK NOTES. Oh damn.

Oh, P.S: Aishah, who's your new eye candy now eh?

Three's a charm,
Prof.

And you were the only reason.

2009-03-15T23:47:00.001+08:00

Dear ______,

I am absolutely certain that the only thing I can think of is you.
You have a nice way of looking into my eyes, telling me that I should just stay away from the potential danger the relationship might pose.
You make me smile whenever you walk past, calling out my name.
You should have just waited for me to call out instead.
Someday I will tell you how I really feel about you.
You + me = fate.
If I saw you now I'd drift.
I want to hold you.
I would build a dream just for you.
If I could sing you any song it would be the lullaby that a thousand angels would sing.
We could just stare into each other's eyes underneath the stars.

Love, Always.
Prof.

Of wires and plugs, they suck.

2009-03-14T03:49:00.008+08:00

I don't care. I'm getting a Macbook Pro, one way or another. Drool.
Then that means i've to starve for 2 whole years. Damndamndamn.

And if you haven't heard, Apple came up with the 3rd generation iPod Shuffle. Apparently it's smaller than a AA battery. Apple, go figure

How I loathe the advancement of technology.

(Mega)byte me,
Prof.

When you looked me in the eyes,

2009-03-13T17:30:00.005+08:00

Today officially marks the first day of the term break.
And about time. My back is starting to ache from the medicine ball training we had a few days ago. Oh fish.

Went back to TK just now, and weirdly, I felt as though I was in a Primary school more than a secondary school. Maybe it was because of the environment in JC. It just makes you feel more, err. Mature. Or maybe cause of the fact that I am surrounded by super tall gargantuans in MJC. Yes, guys in JC are tall. I'm averaged out. Darn, the bass drum.
Oh and got the long-awaited SGC too. I would have expected more, but my testimonial is substantially longer than the rest of theirs. So i'm not really complaining. But, yeah. It wasn't really, impressive per say. I can think of a million more students getting better testimonials than I did. (Mind the semi-narcissistic comment)

Now it's a matter of figuring out what to do with the holidays. I'm trying to force myself to set aside 3 days of intensive homework sessions - which I doubt will happen. Let see there's...

Literature (Readings): Wuthering Heights, Chapter I - V
Literature (Assignments): WH Dream Sequence & Poem Analysis
Geography: Essay outlines
General Paper: Questions and Video
Economics: Case Study Practice & DRQ
Mother Tongue: IVLE Online Work
Mathematics: Tutorials & Online Questions

I have no idea if i've missed any. It's highly probable that I missed out a few assignments.

Depressing.

One Step Closer,
Prof.

Did you decide to move on already?

2009-03-12T22:10:00.005+08:00

Had the nicest time in school today, thanks to particular parties who are apparently turning super bitchy. Yes, and we finally agreed on something. "Supressed feelings." you might say. Sebagai membuka pekung di dada. HAHAHAHA :)

Anyway, today's the last day of the term. You have no idea how relieved I am. But, THANK YOU, MERIDIAN JUNIOR COLLEGE - for giving us a months worth of homework to be done within a week. And if that's not enough, we're having a couple of tests on the first day of school. Fun. But, pity the J2s more, March Block Test after the week's break. My heart goes out to you guys.

I realised today that I have no idea how to tell apart a feminist painting/text from a text/painting which invites a feminist reading. I know right. Apparently, one can see bull skulls as the "Vagina-Fallopian tube-Ovary" System and I only saw the V-word, thinking that it was a feminist reading invitation. Darn, i'm so gonna do bad at Lit. Grrrrr. Scary.

Okay, I'd better stop. Before this post gets more vulgar.
TK tomorrow with Firza & Mard! and Lunch with Ranice. and IT fair at Suntec.
Packed day tomorrow. TGIF.

P.S: Stop worrying lah Aishah. See the cost of beauty now. Tsktsk.
P.P.S: I know this sounds crazy but, if there's availability in MJ and i qualify for them, I have an impulse to pursue, H3 GEOGRAPHY or H3 LITERATURE! OMG, right?

Half psychotic,
Prof.

toothpicks & marbles will cause serious troubles.

2009-03-11T18:29:00.002+08:00

I know, I'm supposed to be studying for tomorrow's Geog test.
I don't feel like studying now though, cause I lost the momentum while riding home. So i'm already semi-lazy.

Mr Low was weird today. He was wearing his pink t-shirt. PINK.
He looked better when he held up Matt's pink floorball stick.
I swear, he looked like a Goddess.
I'll be nice and not post a picture up here, for his modesty's sake. (:

Tomorrow's practically the last day of school for the term, so it's major excitement all around now. Not looking forward to term 2 though. That is when the repugnance will start to penetrate through me. I know, just don't give me the cliched "It's JC. What did you expect?" line, I realised what I asked for.

Okay, better study for Geog test.

(Salutation here),
Prof

You are the reason.

2009-03-10T21:35:00.006+08:00

I saw the moon tonight, in all it's full glory and splendor. Yet again, another literary device came to mind - Symbol. Weirdly enough, everything seems to replicate whatever that I have been caught in - a tangled, twisted, labyrinthine web which I could not escape from. And from the moon this fateful night, I realised, the more I try to come out and shine the glimmer over what is supposedly unrequited, the darker it seems to get.

I'm beginning to lose all hope in this seemingly futile attempt to prove that what we have is truly kismet. While subconsciously, I want it to happen, foolishness is now dominant in this never ending persuasion. Yes, do believe me when I say I Love you - a fact that is no longer unfamiliar to the antiquated thoughts i'm asphyxiated by. But still, seeing you from afar makes my heart skip, still. Hearing you speak makes me speechless. Watching you laugh to yourself conjures my inebriation.

And through the gaunt, underlying monotonous sillhouette I see, it slowly moves away to make way for my underachievement - A Paradoxical Love.

Sigh, Geog test on Thursday.

Not gonna write you a Love Song,
Prof

You left me dying & growing old.

2009-03-08T20:56:00.011+08:00

Oh yes, i'm old already. I'm seventeen! Finally.

Really really greatful this year cause this is the best birthday year i've ever had, cause it's the year with the most wishes. :D Thank you sooo much guys!

The best part of the day was when I went on Facebook and saw 74 notifications on my wall. Whoa.

Thank you Facebook Wishers!:
Naeem, Tahir, Hui Qi, Wang Min, Ming Jie, Serene, Astrid, Er Hao, Puja, Jaclyn, Gabriel, Ummi, Arlene, Hidayat, Veena, Nadia, Ryan, Winnie, Siddiq, Hin Kai, Sharifah, Georgina, Anisha, Nasyitah, Khay, Khairiah, John, Asyraf & Xiaoqi, Leon, Ashraff, Razeef, Zulfaqqar, Sharon, Liming, Jinpei and Gina!

Thank you sms-freaks!:
Sze-Ern (who wished me on the wrong day!), Rashidah, Jiawen! Aaron, Ming Yee, Syafiqah, Kenny, Hajar and Aishah!

Thank you to whoever called, PM-ed or tagged me!:
Mardhiah, Nadia, Soleil, Firza! Shahida & Namira

And a huge thank you to all who "surprised" me:
Nizam!, Syafiqah!, Ranice!, Suhaidah!, Asyraf!, Clement!, Naeem!, Ming Yee!, Connie!, Tamanna! & Jonathan! Yughan! Leslie! Alverina! Mingbei! Jolene! Zhi Ning! & Belinda!

Special thanks, especially to Jiawen, for the super cute "PROFESSOR" shirt which is PINK. :B and Yughan, Leslie, Alverina, Mingbei & Jolene for the postal bag!

A million, gazillion thanks to all of youuu! Words cannot express my deepest gratitude! Thanks for making this year the best birthday i've ever had. :B
I'm so sorry if I forgot to mention your name. But you're gonna be remembered!

Happy Birthday!
Prof.

Go to bed cause it's time to wake up now.

2009-03-07T11:54:00.014+08:00

SLEEPLESS TOWN was awesome.
I felt sexually exploited after the whole Musical.
But it was still awesome!

But I preferred Superhero Diaries though, the set was way more elaborate than Sleepless Town and the music composition and both audio and lighting was a way more compelling visual entrapment. Not to mention the costumes. See the trailer, and you know what I mean.

But i'd have to say that Sleepless Town still maintains it's original over-liberal content and yes... Vulgar nature. And that is why I simply adore Toy Factory Productions. Especially the three epics: Cabaret, Superhero Diaries and now, Sleepless Town (:

If you want to read on the plot fo Sleepless Town, go to Syaf's blog. Hehe.

But, ST still can't compare to Puteri Gunung Ledang: The Musical. God, now that was a musical deserving of a second watch.

On a side note...
A giganormous thanks to,
Nizam!, Syafiqah!, Ranice!, Suhaidah!, Asyraf!, Clement!, Naeem!, Ming Yee!, Connie!, Tamanna! & Jonathan!

For surprising me with the best (and most humiliating) Pre-Birthday celebration ever!
Humiliating me for my birthday and making me walk around Bugis wearing this, is your idea of a surprise?! HAHA. But thanks a lot guys!

And also a huge thanks to Xiaoqi, Maira, Siddiq, Razeef and Matt! for the presents! All of you guys are the bomb! I was entrenchedly touched. :B

I can officially declare that yesterday was the best night I've ever had.
(& I don't care if this statement sounds awfully wrong.)

One tit-lessed,
Prof.

I won't tell you that I Love you.

2009-03-04T18:57:00.004+08:00

I regretted asking for homework, cause now when I'm getting homework, I don't feel like touching it at all.

Weirdly enough, this week is kind of a lucky week (so far.) When I've not glanced through a single word of Wuthering Heights: Chapter II for this week's tutorial, we were given a six-question assignment, and guess what... Dr S told me my assignment was not bad. Yeah, without a single hint of knowledge of the text and I got a 'not bad' from her. If that's not lucky I don't know what is.

That seemed like my only lucky streak this week. Just waiting for Friday's Econs test to be over before I can enjoy myself for the weekend, and for Friday night's Sleepless Town. (:

& Today I just how camwhore-ish KENNY TAY is. Tsk-tsk. Kenny. True colours coming out urhh. Hurhur. Plus, today's Photog meeting made me feel like buying my own DSLR. Damnit.

Hmmm, sigh. And i'm scared. Yeah, scared.
Cause i'm being enveloped by Paranoia.
By what you said.

Can't read my Poker Face,
Prof.

cause it's not always my fault.

2009-03-03T23:42:00.006+08:00

I officially HATE MJC's PE Programme. Urgh.

And... I found my new love.
KINETIC TYPOGRAPHY (:
and no Kinetic Typography is not a band.
It's an animation concept.

Kicked the bucket hard,
Prof

Strummed the guitar strings.

2009-03-02T20:32:00.011+08:00

I've been acting like such a fool these past few days and I have noticed nothing but.

The oh-so queasy feeling's still there and i'm such an idiot to just ignore.
Plus, if there was a time I can replicate the use of 'Pathetic Fallacy' (Literary Technique) into real life, these few days would be the perfect examples I can imprint it on. The rain is just showing me how the feeling of impending doom should feel like. The feeling when I see you from afar, and fail to run after you. The exact same feeling I have when I just gaze into your soulful, yet intrepid eyes and see the warmth that has always reached out to me. I hate myself for just letting it go every time the situation is presented to me, in such an openly welcoming way.

Sometimes having being so near has never felt so far away. Every single cure they have given me was a lie, and for years I have been vaccinating a disease that was incurable in the first place. It's not just about being there, but it's about being just another fading memory, another page in that thick book you jot down in and another familiar face. Unsurprisingly, if one day i'll end up regretting what I didn't do - especially when potential risks are involved at such a volatile time, i'll just end up crouching low on the floor, pressing my already cold hands on the marble, slowly coating it with my tears - knowing that all this happened because of me and my own doing. To think that it could ever happen, ever, is foolish & I know it's a long shot.

Potentially, there has never been a good enough reason for you to seek my inner sanction, and no other reason I have for letting go of it to the one person I profusely want to let it go to. However, if fate were to decide, it may just be an ending that will never come. Yet, destiny is asking me to push myself to you, even if it meant that I'd take it a few steps at a time.

I can wait though. Even if it means i'll be dying, with my song unsung.

Unbreak My Heart,
Prof.

the grass is greener on my side.

2009-03-01T16:36:00.010+08:00

MIGRAINE. Damn.

And to Sze-Ern: Get well, with the migraine too.
To the others: Happy March 2009.

Nothing happy about it. Homework is starting to pile on and my enthusiasm to sit down and complete them is decreasing. Plus, there's an Econs consolidation test that we'd have to study for next week that's not getting me anywhere near excited.

Plus, the first day of March has been nothing but wet. I swear the only thing I saw for the whole day was rain, in all its wet and greyish glory. There's also the thunder and lightning. Noisy kids. Other than that, this is why i've been feeling sleepy the whole day (and not being able to move to my school bag to get my homework out)

The only thing that can get me riled up is Lady Gaga. LOL, much.
For a week now I've been humming the intro to JD and it has gotten so many poor souls hooked on it. (Right Xiaoqi?)
I'll bet Roxanne's turning in her grave. So sorry, Rox! The song's too addictive!
It's okay. Here's something to convert you.

Okay, i'm off to sulk (and try to do my homework)

Spin that record, babe,
Prof.

that face of an angel came out.

2009-02-26T21:05:00.007+08:00

This post goes out to Nizam... who is suffering from stomach flu.
Get well soon, Niz! Come school tomorrow!

Anyway, I think i'm influencing everyone else to blog. Cause i'm probably the only person in class who blogs everyday and I do mean everyday. What can i say, blogger what.

Was feeling depressed the whole day. All because of this stupid thing they call Height&Weight. Yeah, I am self conscious, thank you very much. The fact that i've not stepped on the weighing scale for 4 months (and is not intending to till tomorrow) is making things worse. I am almost a hundred percent positive that I would be one of the few unlucky souls who would have to asphyxiate at 0700 every Tuesday and Friday around the track. Damn. Furthermore, the TJC-ians are not helping by gasping super loudly when I told them we are still taking Height and Weight. Apparently, TJ has never heard of Trim & Fit. Suckers.

Idiot much. OH, today the class was bombarded with lame jokes (and no Connie, not from you, disappointingly) by the teachers.

"What do you call a psychotic who drowns? - A nervous wreck!"

Right on, Mr Low.
The same goes to Mr Tan. Gosh.

I'm still writing poetry snippets for the Lit board.
And i'm completely disregarding Maths assignment. Fishcakes.

p.s: Khay! You're reading my blog. ZOMG.

You're my narrator,
Prof.

I had a little bit too much.

2009-02-25T20:43:00.009+08:00

I expanded my social network today!

Anyway, there was a huge rainbow today, painted right across the rainy, dull grey sky. I looked up to indulge myself in the sheer resplendence across the tapestry of monochrome hues & I took it as an omen that things are definitely going to get better between us.

Cause I know you're looking at the same rainbow I was looking at, and thinking what I thought. That kind of made me feel a little better. Now the problem is, should I just tell you?

I'll just end up waiting for a call that would never come.

Okay, busy much.
Literature board and Geog Tutorial. They're screaming at my ears. Grrr.

Just dance,
Prof.

When I love you, it's so untrue

2009-02-24T18:34:00.009+08:00

Before I begin.

Thanks a lot larh, Fa. You brought back all those unnecessary TKBand days with you. And for polluting my Facebook wall with all the crap I threw at you for the past 2 years. HAHA.

So, i'm beginning to think that I'm too free. I've been blogging everyday manxz. While everyone's blogs are stale and stagnant, mine has been far from dead.
So much for a decomposing blog.

Anyway, I think i'm beginning to like Geography (again) very much. Yeah even if I don't get half the thing that comes out of the lecture but I simply adore the subject! And today's Literature tutorial lesson with Mr Low wasn't bad either. It was pure fun urhh. :D

& DIE. Tomorrow's Science Fiesta. But i'm scrambling to find someone to replace me, cause tomorrow's the Canon workshop. Damn it. I've been looking forward to Science Fiesta since forever. Grrrr. We "planned" the damn thing. X(

On top of that, I have a million things to do. These things include...

Pre-U Seminar Preview Video.
Geography Human Geog tutorial.
Print out Geography notes.
Maths Tutorial.
Literature Board layout & material purchasing.
Literature Assignment (Includes Wuthering Heights & George Orwell's 1984.)

Woe is the life of a Junior College student.
Substantially packed.

Truth. Beauty. Freedom & Love,
Prof.

give me a reason to make me fall.

2009-02-23T20:43:00.006+08:00

I'm kind of appalled in a way.

I'm not singling out anyone but now everyone seems to be joining the Student Council. Frankly, i'm not talking about anyone in MJ. Some others are really out to rattle my nerve cause it's so obvious they're not joining the SC for the sole purpose of serving the institution they're in but to indulge themselves in the fact that their testimonials are going to be embellished by the long lists of achievements during their tenure in council, which they will either be partially or sometimes not even involved in the first place. Yeah, you don't really need to be in the Council of your secondary school but it shows a lot if you were to suddenly apply on a whim. As such, it shows how much sincerity you've really put in, or lack thereof. Be realistic lah. If you want to join such a distinguished organisation, do it because you're passionate about joining, not because you just want a 5-page testimonial describing the hypocritical oaths you've taken during your servitude. Buggers.

I'm so sorry you guys had to read that but it's really irritating. Urgh.

Well, my Geog tutorial is calling me.

Sucks to be you,
Prof.

All eyes on me at the centre of the ring.

2009-02-22T22:21:00.007+08:00

I, for some reason think that Arts stream students have it much easier.

That is why I am sitting at this very moment in front of the computer talking about it. The best part of this whole thing: I have a tutorial or two to complete, mind you but i'm too drudgy to drag myself out of the chair to sit myself on the study table to do it. Dang.

And I am no where near completing the first chapter of Wuthering Heights, that's how lagged I am. I'll probably be panicking myself out of my shoes tomorrow before lecture starts.

Bah, well.

If there was any point of time I looked at the whole situation as a whole, is when i'm withheld in the whole ordeal itself. The person that I am referring to now is probably unbeknown to the whole situation. Maybe cause i'm too naive to believe that she's the one, and felt that way ever since day one. I do believe that things happen for a reason, but I do believe in fate as well, and henceforth, you can see the convolution of the whole darn situation. So now, when I face you, I get nervous. Cause i'm scared that what I say will reflect on how I feel about you. I could probably do that through actions when tongues fail to function.

Another lesson I learnt from all this is that, it may come out as too late for me to do anything. & any fool can tell that that's the greatest fear I can have. But I do wonder sometimes why I still have these feelings with me, even when you continue treating me the way you do.

I need a wake up call.

Good day to you,
Prof.

Why'd you have to wait if I am already here?

2009-02-21T22:33:00.013+08:00

Road Race was tiring.
~~Ran~~, ~~Walked~~, Run-walked most of the route.
Pictures on Facebook ya'll!
But, but, here's a very Nizam picture.

Nizam, once a camwhore, always a camwhore eh? (:

Urgh, Sundays. A time to ~~relax~~ do assignments/tutorials and mug.
And with this, I think God officially hates me.

For incorrigibility revered zeal. Alas, I lucked out & varily ensconced. Yet, on undesired instincts, no credulous rage enraptures dreadful insults by leaving you.